THE VOICE OF SEEING

CARLOS STARTED THE WHOLE THING IN AMERICA

Today is the New Moon.  With the moon conjunct the sun this morning,  I decided to do my STOP THE WORLD meditation.  On my Medicine Wheel mat, I sit crosslegged toward the east,  compose myself, and go into the meditative state.  At a certain point, I rotate to the right, facing the south, reverse the cross of my legs, and go back into the deep place.  I rotate again to the west and north, and then back to the east.  Each direction has its signature spirits, totems and happenings.  At New Moon, this serves to bring the energies of this particular time phase to a close.  I was slightly upset this morning, because it was evident that I had overlooked this practice for many moons.  It's so easy to fall from the Way!

As I was getting up from the mat, I was startled by THE VOICE OF SEEING.  This is from Castaneda's work.  Somewhere in the universe, there is an intelligence that speaks to the Shaman at the moment of Seeing something.  What you See doesn't always make sense, but the Voice of Seeing sets you straight.  It reminded me of a conversation I had had years ago, with one of the entities which visits me.

"HOW OLD ARE YOU?", it asked me.  I forget what I said.  He corrected me and explained.

"We measure your age this way," he said.  "At the moment of your first copulation, you become one year old."  I was 17 the first time I got laid.  "When your child is 17, you will be two years old, and he will be one year old.  His child will be one year old in 17 years, he will be two years old, and you will be three.  That child's child will be one year old in 17 years, and so on."

He explained to me that when you are seventeen, people younger than you look like kids.  When you are 34, seventeen year olds look like kids.  Moreover, you are old enough to see the difference between you and the seventeen year old.  And you can see that you are invisible to him.  At 51, you are still younger than the 68 year old.  At 68, you can See something about the world and your place in it.  You have passed through.

In the growth and development of a Shaman, time slows down.  A Shaman expands the Energy Field toward Infinity.  Within that context, time is no longer linear, but a multidimensional complex of energy systems interacting at random, forming what Castaneda's don Juan calls "the lines of force in the universe".  During this time the Shaman practices THE ART OF STALKING, which allows him to develop the discernment and discrimination to separate out the different streams of consciousness energies which translate into events.  This occurs over many moon cycles.  

Learning to carry the observational awareness gained during the passage of the lunar phases, their nuances and messages, or lines of force, is the daily task of the Shaman.  Visions, as such, are merely reminders that there is an underlying flux of consciousness awareness which forms the matrix of reality.  In youth, these lines of force are compressed into moments, each moment awash in the passions of the life force as it seeks to unfold toward THE TOTALITY OF THE SELF.  The Totality of the Self is the human being unshackled from the bonds of culturally imposed self-identity, existing in a culturally imposed reality.

ART OF STALKING: DAILY LOG BOOK

DAILY LOG BOOK

The Art of Stalking is, of course, the art of Stalking The Self.

Once one enters the realm of Shamanic Consciousness, time becomes a much more expanded situation.  The personal consciousness, or, I should say, Awareness, is naturally limited to the immediate moment.  Memory augments this moment from its film archives, to give us an edited picture of reality.  In Shamanic Reality, the personal consciousness is not enough to register the totality of each moment.  And the concept of Time becomes a moment of opening one’s eyes in the deep end of a swimming pool.

To demonstrate this to me, one year on Valentine’s Day, Marilyn Monroe wanted to do a painting.  We were in the large studio in Ellensburg.  She took me downstairs, and over to the Starlight Café.  But it was closed, so we walked down the street to the Oak Rail Tavern, where we had four pints of ale, and four shots of tequila.  We walked back to the studio, quite tipsy, and we did the painting, throwing paint all over the substrate already positioned on the Painting Floor (otherwise the Yoga Floor).  When we had finished, I passed out on the small carpet in the Healing Area.

It wasn’t until a few days later that I realized what had happened.  The painting turned out ok, and I mounted it for display.  At some point, I remembered.  Just as I was passing out, I had witnessed a miracle!  There was Marilyn Monroe, running around the painting floor in glee, in her Spirit Body, stark naked of course.  What a charming sight.  It showed me the time lag between what happens in Spirit, and how long it takes to reach normal human consciousness.

For that reason, a Shaman lives a more or less isolated life, so that the minutiae of daily living doesn’t block the visions  of Shamanic Reality.

And since much of Shamanic Reality unfolds over the course of many days, weeks, months, or moon cycles, I early on realized I had to keep notes of everything that happened during a day.  So I started keeping a journal.  But I’m not very good at journaling, so it became just a log book.  I note everything I do in a day, and what time it happened.

This is very helpful in matters of personal health.  I keep track of my daily stool.  What does it look like?  What affects it?  What types of foods, and what Shamanic Events, influence my stool?  It is very interesting to note the effects of Shamanic occurrences on the physical body and the environment.

For this reason, we keep a close watch on the daily manifestations of the phases of the Moon.  We are now dragging the bottom of the Dark Moon phase.  New Moon is in two days.  People are psychotic and withdrawn.  I am hyper and intense.  This Dark Moon is different from most others in that regard.  I feel we are moving into something new.

With the New Moon two days away, I am reminded that the New Moon phase is actually upon us, and that it lasts for a couple of days past the exact opposition of the moon to the sun, until the appearance of the first Crescent Moon low above the horizon in the West, just after the sun disappears behind the Cascade Mountains.  So we have several days of a very delicate energy, in which ceremonies can come to completion, and transitions can be made to a new time.

(The photo shows my log book where I keep it during the day, on my work table, which is directly in front of my Trance Chair, where the light comes in from the window.  In background is my Meditation Vortex, against the wall, and my Yoga Floor [also the Healing Floor].)

THE ART OF STALKING

MEDICINE WHEEL YOGA MAT

In the first chapter of his first book, The Teachings of don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge, 1968, Carlos Castaneda makes mention of two things which form a part of the foundation of my Initiation as a Shaman.  Carlos is told to ‘find his spot’ on don Juan’s veranda; and later, he is instructed in the Art of Stalking.  Carlos’s ‘spot’ is a certain type of Earth Energy Vortex; and Stalking is the very complicated process of figuring out what’s going on in the unfathomable world of Shamanic Spirit.

The drawing above shows my first yoga mat.  The Medicine Wheel is a time-honored device of indigenous peoples to help them organize the energies of Spirit.  It is also the basis of Mandala paintings.  By organizing around the four directions, the world of Spirit is brought into easier understanding, and rituals can be more easily organized.  This is an exercise in Stalking developed by peoples around the globe.

In today’s world, we need to develop a deeper and more profound approach to understanding the world around us.  The industrial world has lost the sense of time, ever since we invented clocks.  But Nature provides us with an incomparable teacher:  the Moon.

Since ancient Shamans had no compass or clocks, or artificial light, they used the stars and seasons and arc of the sun to keep track of what was happening around them.  As it turns out, the focus of these ancient peoples on certain aspects of the world created a condensation of the energies of consciousness around these points of focus.  This concentrated consciousness morphed into gods.  And the gods were able to communicate with their creators.  Sounds backwards?  Check it out.  You can do the same thing, when you create the Medicine Energies where you live.

One of the easiest things to focus your attentions upon is the Moon.  We are all familiar with the hackneyed concepts of Full Moon and Dark Moon, but what we see is merely a dot on our calendars.  We do not have the energetic capacities to fully grasp or discern the energy patterns of these very subtle fluxuations coming to us from the Moon.  The phrase ‘many moons’ takes on deeper meaning when we actually use the lunar cycles to organize our sense of the passage of time.

If you follow the weather reports on TV, you may notice that they are often way off just before or just after the New or Full moon.  The energies of these times are an example of  the spiritual psychology of the world we live in.  The Moon has varying moods, and these moods correspond to events occurring on the planet.  A Shaman has the sorts of powers which can cause the Moon to respond in some way.  Often, after a ceremony, a Shaman looks to the mood of the Moon to judge its success. 

The awareness necessary to discern these responses from the Moon can be developed by removing oneself from the standardized responses to the world conditioned by the culture in which we live.

In Shamanic Yoga, simply practicing yoga is one way to remove oneself  from the vibes of the world around us.  And the awareness of the nature of the human energy field which is developed while deep in asana, is one way of discerning the subtleties of these messages from the Moon.  Because it is the Shaman’s Body, which is developed from the Yoga Body, which has the antennae or receptors which can pick up the vibes from the Moon.

The world around us is a vast sea of energies.  These energies are forms of consciousness.  The consciousness which is normally contained in the ‘brain’ is not sufficient to discern the subtleties around us.  So Shamans use entheogens and psychedelics to augment their energy field perceptors.  And Shamanic Yogis develop these perceptors in their own physical energy fields.

The Art of Stalking is the art of developing the attention span (often a span of months or years) to apprehend and decipher the communications from the entities of the natural world.  Shamanic Art is often used as one means of record-keeping, as peoples develop an iconography to describe these impressions from the subtle energies.

THE END OF MY INITIATION AS A SHAMAN

When I first moved into my apartment in Yakima, I buried my extra house key beside a post in the cyclone fence at the east edge of the crushed gravel parking lot.  After a few years, in which I had not  needed the spare key, I decided to dig it up, just to check it.  I dug and dug, but never found it.

On July 19, 2013, I experienced a heart attack while walking around Myron Lake.  I had been drinking beer for breakfast for weeks, and stuffing myself with corn chips, and I could feel the congestion in my chest cavity.  The heart attack was severe enough to scare me, but I was able to control it with my yoga breathing and energy manipulations.  For a few days, my chest was in strong discomfort, with pinging chest pains.  After a while, I began to realize another aspect to these energies.  I could sense the presence of Marilyn Monroe.

Since I have no medical coverage, I continued my gem elixir and yoga treatments and went on about my business.  The chest pains continued.  Soon, they became more and more pronounced, until they began to seem like messages in Morse Code.  I knew it was MM teasing me.

On March 3, I had another attack.  This time, I could feel the pain going up my aorta.  I could see into my chest, where there was a blue glow all around the area of the aorta.  This was the fifth anniversary of my mother’s death.  I began to sense a purpose to these attacks. 

My mother came to visit me, in company with Marilyn Monroe.  She had grown into her identity with Queen Nefertiti, my Master Teacher.  Together, they showed me the secret of my very much unexpected birth.

At sixteen years old, my mother, first of three children, had seduced her father and became with child.  Later, with the birth of this first child, her uterus had been rendered inoperative.  Years later, she had married my father, and for six years, they were childless.  And then I came along.  After this birth, the uterus was removed.

As a child, I had received hints about the existence of my older brother, but it wasn’t until just a few years ago that I began to understand that I wasn’t her only offspring.  By that time, I was two decades into my Initiation as a Shaman, and living in Yakima.

The visit from the spirit of my mother turned out to be the beginning of the end of my Initiation as a Shaman.  It had been twenty two years and 99 days since the beginning on the day after Xmas in 1990.

A few days passed, and I was outside checking the yard, when I looked down to the dirt of the alley, a few feet from my blossoming stand of hollyhocks.

“That’s my house key!” I said.  I took it from its little Ziploc and checked it in the door.  It worked.  I think this was the first time Marilyn Monroe had dematerialized an object for me.

Shortly after that experience, I decided to dig up the Master Crystal and some other stones used by Jesus and Nefertiti as they worked to realize the agenda we had cooked up in ancient Egypt, concerning the birth and rebirth of Jesus.  The soul of Jesus had been modeled after that of Peta Amen Apt, priest of the High Temple in Ancient Egypt.  In the first days of my Initiation as a Shaman, they had pointed out his name in a footnote in the Egyptian Book of the Dead.  Peta worked with me for several years, and eventually broke my typewriter.

As my Initiation had been dragging along for so many years, without any sense that I was acquiring the powers expected of a ‘real’ Shaman (as opposed to the current flood of Shamanic Practitioners –no slight intended…), I began to suspect that the Master Crystal was key to an agenda that was being concealed from me.  After the experiences which began with the attempted assassination of Congresswoman Gabby Giffords in January 2011, in which I played a key role, and was introduced to the secrets of the human sacrifice as it is practiced today, I came to a time when I began to experience the creation of my Nagual.

The Nagual, or ‘double’, is a projection from the yoni (loin area) of Shamans of South and Central America.  It is often a Jaguar.  My Nagual was actually Jesus, who appeared as the little black dog Xolotl, Lord of the Underworld, who immediately morphed into a giant Anaconda, which I was able to watch as he slithered out into the world and traveled toward Seattle, and then south, and then all over the place, leaving a trail of nationally televised disasters and assassinations.   By this time it had become apparent to me that I had been expected to groom Jesus for his return in the Second Coming.  I had been shown the symbol of a cross, with not one but two crosspieces.  I termed this the Double Cross.

By this time I had become thoroughly convinced that my youthful distaste for and distrust of Jesus and the Christian religion had been entirely correct.  I was not willing to be party to the sorts of lies and deceptions, heinous practices and ruinations of the living planet, which I had experienced to be at the core of this agenda.  It had become obvious that I had evolved, spiritually, along with the planet, but that my spirits had not.  So I had buried the Master Crystal and others, in the sacred grove of the garden at the west edge of the parking lot.  Again, I dug and dug, but the crystals were no longer there.  Then other things began to disappear.

Over the years since the Giffords massacre, I had been having intense battles with Jesus.  I found I was able to actually engage him in combat, and was able to prevail.  His method of dealing with me over the years had so infuriated me, that I had successively grown stronger and stronger, until his provocations finally succeeded in crystallizing the totality of the energies of my own spirit.  It took me many years to finally break through the sociological and cultural conditioning that made me feel I needed to be somehow subservient to the Great Holy Ones.  After each battle, I would recover, go on with my days, and have some remorse.  I would rationalize that it was possible to co-exist with this agenda which was so anathema to me; that I should behave myself and not fly off the handle….  And it was settled.  And then my spirit would rise up and say, “No Way!”

Until finally, the Initiation had ended.  It took me a few months to test the situation, but it seems to have actually morphed into what I call my “Apprenticeship”.  I  am now the apprentice of the Medicine Energies which I have built up in my yard and apartment during the seven years I’ve lived here.  My Medicine has spread from my apartment to the others in the fourplex, and to the neighbors.  We have become a small community.  Plants from my garden are now the beginnings of gardens for each of the other tenants, and the neighbors.  Friendships have formed, and each tenant has found new interests and a revitalized life.

Meanwhile, I am still tracking the activities of my Nagual.  The first really significant feat that the Nagual has accomplished is the replacement of the Pope of the Catholic Church with a new Pope, Francis, who is known as a champion of the poor and downtrodden.  At first, I was deeply annoyed that after giving my life to this aborted ploy to bring the Jesus back to life, all he could manage to do was change the Pope.  But I mellowed out, after some time.

The second feat that he has accomplished is more to my liking.  As we have our roots in ancient Egypt, I was very pleased that he was able to bring a change to the elected government in Egypt, and remove the heavy-handed Morsi government, with its Islamist agenda.  While I have not had the opportunity during my Initiation to do much work with individuals, it recently occurred to me that I would be able to exert some power over the Gods of the Abrahamic Religions, and by starting at the top, begin to bring some changes to the way these religions treat this magical planet we all share, which is the mother and birthplace of the Gods themselves.

The past few months have given me some hope that I will be able to rehabilitate at least some aspects of my life.  I am actually enjoying the process of losing my teeth as I age.

FULL MOON POEMS AND DRAWINGS

SPIRIT BEAR HEALING

12.24.12

Yakima Peak is wearing its white robe for Xmas

the skies are all undressed in blue

a low sun reflects its psychedelic rainbow

from the A Street sign to my face

this morning I traveled to New York State

I stripped a lady's spirit from her skin

so my Spirit Bear could get in

he's been seeking a place to hibernate in

Egyptian Goddesses at the gate

entrance sealed with jade

12.28.12

Yesterday I had a long session with Gaia.  My morning yoga session with Marilyn Monroe morphed into a tantric dance with Gaia, exchanging energies between my yoni and the yoni of the earth.  It was like lightning between us.  I penetrated into the chthonic realms like never before.  When I went to the coffee shop, I did a drawing.  It shows Gaia's yoni projecting a lightning bolt (Zaza Zam's signature), with an object behind her that I couldn't recognize.  It was so distinct, I pondered about it all day.  Later I saw that it represents one of the four placards I had made to represent the Women of the Four Directions for my Medicine Wheel.  The Women are depicted as Double X chromosomes.  I forgot to scan the image, so I'll add it later.

GAIA

*     *     *

*     *     *

TIME PASSES

12.26.12

I haven't danced since Fred Dunagan's wedding

drove over from Ellensburg to someplace in West Seattle

how'd I ever find it?  

wearing four shirts and my Redwings, beneath my 4X Serratelli Beaver,

me and some blonde hogged the floor

she never called me back

last time I saw Fred

he'd changed his name to Wilson

and I wasn't Dagaji yet

we got some Eagle feathers beneath the eire in the cliff

parted friends forever, him in New York, me in exile

it's been so long since I've kissed, I lost my whistle

*     *     *

MY FATHER INDRA

12.27.12

I'm lookin at white guys with clean-shaven faces

Spanish guys, too  -- they look like women

how much time it takes! -- time lost to a social ideal

I'd rather spend my time combing my goldilocks out of my brush

brushing the fungus from my goatee

my goatee inspired by Queen Hapshethut, the Pharaoh 

now that the Hippies are dead, I feel like a Taliban

"Fuck the Earth!  Allah Akbar!" Gaia giggles

she loves em all; Gaia trained my yoni

Gaia makes me horny; Gaia likes Kundalini

Gaia likes my weenie -- Gaia the fellationista,

mother of Humanity, teaching men to walk erect

Homo Erectus ... Gaia Mother of Gods

Gods turning the sods into Sodomites

lunching at Gomorra (famed Nigerblood soup!)

the heart of Africa boiled in my crucible, the Heart of Mankind,

the dark beginning in a field of snakes

my father Indra toast-toasting with the worms of the wormwood,

chugging, chugging the brew to turn on the lights

*     *     *

Yesterday evening I was very depressed.  I was looking for a way out of it.  I reached over my shoulder to turn on the little lamp, and notices a couple of pieces of drawing paper.  So I whipped out a drawing:

LOVE CHILD

Marilyn Monroe makes things lots better, when she's not making them lots worse.

PSYCHIC PORTRAITS

Take a piece of paper, and scribble on it.  Wait until you see images forming from the scribbles, and begin to go over the lines until you have the image.

DEMO PAGE

This is a Surrealist technique, taken from one of my previous incarnations, Leonardo da Vinci.  I began this series of drawings in 1988, at Happy Hour in the Blue Moon Tavern in Seattle's University District.  It's like a Rorschach Test.  What you come up with is a message from your subconscious, which the Surrealists recognized as the Gateway to Alchemical Transformation.  Like Dreams (another Surrealist technique, also used by Carlos Castaneda), these drawings are messages from your Spirit Guides.

If you study the arts of indigenous peoples, you notice that they use distinctive patterns.  The patterns are indigenous to each particular locale.  These are the patterns of the Medicine Energies in each area.  When I used to take LSD, I could see the exact same patterns in the air that I saw in the arts of the Northwest Coast Indians.  But along with those patterns, I also saw other patterns -- like modern cartoon figures or faces.  As I later began this series of drawings, I noticed those same cartoon-like patterns in the scribbles.  The drawings seemed inept and embarrassing, but eventually the subject matter began to make sense, and when I finally entered into Union with my Allies during my Initiation as a Shaman, I saw that I had been doing portraits of my Spirit Guides.  

This continued throughout the Initiation, and I began to see my clients in the drawings, revealing various aspects of their healing process.  Often the Allies would just entertain themselves, telling stories and jokes, but the healing readings were always accurate, even though, as I discovered, I was entering an unknown area of psychic / spiritual information.  It took years to integrate the bits of knowledge and insight that I was gathering into a deeper understanding of the world of Spirit, and the ways in which it shapes every aspect of our reality.

During the recent killings at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut, I returned to this style of drawing.  I had abandoned it during the period when I was forced to 'overcome the Allies'.  Once I had defeated them and regained the autonomy of my spirit, our relationship began to mature and I felt it necessary to resume this work.

One of my first new drawings was "Reynard", a chthonic entity who rules the Montana Flood area of Eastern Washington State.  I made his acquaintance a few years ago up in Ellensburg, and interactions with him and the witches forced me to relocate to Yakima.  Now he has engaged me again, and I am doing research into his ways.

A later drawing came through from Jesus.  He always manifests the fish symbol as here, for his nose, and in this piece he is holding a baby.  "T" was very distinct in the scribble.  It is my boyhood nickname, to insure that I understood he was referring to me.  In addition, he added the small lightning bolt at the top, referring to the spirit name given to me during my Initiation, "Zaza Zam" (the Lightning Man).  These drawings are training in using and trusting your intuition.

Marilyn Monroe gave me more drawings, this one with some ambiguity involved, in relation to the shootings... but she can be counted on to make things interesting!

And Jesus gave me the definitive image to denote his involvement with the massacre.  After Marilyn Monroe caused the earthquake which precipitated the Phuket Island Tsunami in 2004 (today is the eighth anniversary!), Jesus took me there to observe him at work gathering the departed souls.  It was obvious this is a feasting occasion for the spirits.  This is the underlying cause of such disasters and massacres.  The spirits feast on the soul and blood energies (human sacrifice) and the emotional outrage and fear of the masses.  He appeared to me then as a shark, with a shark's swiftness, fierceness, and voraciousness.

The signature on these pieces refers to the fact that, until recently, I was always stoned on marijuana.  I added the J. for numerological reasons.

TODAY'S HYPNOPOMP

A giant red spider being eaten by a fat yellow cat.