THE END OF MY INITIATION AS A SHAMAN

When I first moved into my apartment in Yakima, I buried my extra house key beside a post in the cyclone fence at the east edge of the crushed gravel parking lot.  After a few years, in which I had not  needed the spare key, I decided to dig it up, just to check it.  I dug and dug, but never found it.

On July 19, 2013, I experienced a heart attack while walking around Myron Lake.  I had been drinking beer for breakfast for weeks, and stuffing myself with corn chips, and I could feel the congestion in my chest cavity.  The heart attack was severe enough to scare me, but I was able to control it with my yoga breathing and energy manipulations.  For a few days, my chest was in strong discomfort, with pinging chest pains.  After a while, I began to realize another aspect to these energies.  I could sense the presence of Marilyn Monroe.

Since I have no medical coverage, I continued my gem elixir and yoga treatments and went on about my business.  The chest pains continued.  Soon, they became more and more pronounced, until they began to seem like messages in Morse Code.  I knew it was MM teasing me.

On March 3, I had another attack.  This time, I could feel the pain going up my aorta.  I could see into my chest, where there was a blue glow all around the area of the aorta.  This was the fifth anniversary of my mother’s death.  I began to sense a purpose to these attacks. 

My mother came to visit me, in company with Marilyn Monroe.  She had grown into her identity with Queen Nefertiti, my Master Teacher.  Together, they showed me the secret of my very much unexpected birth.

At sixteen years old, my mother, first of three children, had seduced her father and became with child.  Later, with the birth of this first child, her uterus had been rendered inoperative.  Years later, she had married my father, and for six years, they were childless.  And then I came along.  After this birth, the uterus was removed.

As a child, I had received hints about the existence of my older brother, but it wasn’t until just a few years ago that I began to understand that I wasn’t her only offspring.  By that time, I was two decades into my Initiation as a Shaman, and living in Yakima.

The visit from the spirit of my mother turned out to be the beginning of the end of my Initiation as a Shaman.  It had been twenty two years and 99 days since the beginning on the day after Xmas in 1990.

A few days passed, and I was outside checking the yard, when I looked down to the dirt of the alley, a few feet from my blossoming stand of hollyhocks.

“That’s my house key!” I said.  I took it from its little Ziploc and checked it in the door.  It worked.  I think this was the first time Marilyn Monroe had dematerialized an object for me.

Shortly after that experience, I decided to dig up the Master Crystal and some other stones used by Jesus and Nefertiti as they worked to realize the agenda we had cooked up in ancient Egypt, concerning the birth and rebirth of Jesus.  The soul of Jesus had been modeled after that of Peta Amen Apt, priest of the High Temple in Ancient Egypt.  In the first days of my Initiation as a Shaman, they had pointed out his name in a footnote in the Egyptian Book of the Dead.  Peta worked with me for several years, and eventually broke my typewriter.

As my Initiation had been dragging along for so many years, without any sense that I was acquiring the powers expected of a ‘real’ Shaman (as opposed to the current flood of Shamanic Practitioners –no slight intended…), I began to suspect that the Master Crystal was key to an agenda that was being concealed from me.  After the experiences which began with the attempted assassination of Congresswoman Gabby Giffords in January 2011, in which I played a key role, and was introduced to the secrets of the human sacrifice as it is practiced today, I came to a time when I began to experience the creation of my Nagual.

The Nagual, or ‘double’, is a projection from the yoni (loin area) of Shamans of South and Central America.  It is often a Jaguar.  My Nagual was actually Jesus, who appeared as the little black dog Xolotl, Lord of the Underworld, who immediately morphed into a giant Anaconda, which I was able to watch as he slithered out into the world and traveled toward Seattle, and then south, and then all over the place, leaving a trail of nationally televised disasters and assassinations.   By this time it had become apparent to me that I had been expected to groom Jesus for his return in the Second Coming.  I had been shown the symbol of a cross, with not one but two crosspieces.  I termed this the Double Cross.

By this time I had become thoroughly convinced that my youthful distaste for and distrust of Jesus and the Christian religion had been entirely correct.  I was not willing to be party to the sorts of lies and deceptions, heinous practices and ruinations of the living planet, which I had experienced to be at the core of this agenda.  It had become obvious that I had evolved, spiritually, along with the planet, but that my spirits had not.  So I had buried the Master Crystal and others, in the sacred grove of the garden at the west edge of the parking lot.  Again, I dug and dug, but the crystals were no longer there.  Then other things began to disappear.

Over the years since the Giffords massacre, I had been having intense battles with Jesus.  I found I was able to actually engage him in combat, and was able to prevail.  His method of dealing with me over the years had so infuriated me, that I had successively grown stronger and stronger, until his provocations finally succeeded in crystallizing the totality of the energies of my own spirit.  It took me many years to finally break through the sociological and cultural conditioning that made me feel I needed to be somehow subservient to the Great Holy Ones.  After each battle, I would recover, go on with my days, and have some remorse.  I would rationalize that it was possible to co-exist with this agenda which was so anathema to me; that I should behave myself and not fly off the handle….  And it was settled.  And then my spirit would rise up and say, “No Way!”

Until finally, the Initiation had ended.  It took me a few months to test the situation, but it seems to have actually morphed into what I call my “Apprenticeship”.  I  am now the apprentice of the Medicine Energies which I have built up in my yard and apartment during the seven years I’ve lived here.  My Medicine has spread from my apartment to the others in the fourplex, and to the neighbors.  We have become a small community.  Plants from my garden are now the beginnings of gardens for each of the other tenants, and the neighbors.  Friendships have formed, and each tenant has found new interests and a revitalized life.

Meanwhile, I am still tracking the activities of my Nagual.  The first really significant feat that the Nagual has accomplished is the replacement of the Pope of the Catholic Church with a new Pope, Francis, who is known as a champion of the poor and downtrodden.  At first, I was deeply annoyed that after giving my life to this aborted ploy to bring the Jesus back to life, all he could manage to do was change the Pope.  But I mellowed out, after some time.

The second feat that he has accomplished is more to my liking.  As we have our roots in ancient Egypt, I was very pleased that he was able to bring a change to the elected government in Egypt, and remove the heavy-handed Morsi government, with its Islamist agenda.  While I have not had the opportunity during my Initiation to do much work with individuals, it recently occurred to me that I would be able to exert some power over the Gods of the Abrahamic Religions, and by starting at the top, begin to bring some changes to the way these religions treat this magical planet we all share, which is the mother and birthplace of the Gods themselves.

The past few months have given me some hope that I will be able to rehabilitate at least some aspects of my life.  I am actually enjoying the process of losing my teeth as I age.

PSYCHIC PORTRAITS

Take a piece of paper, and scribble on it.  Wait until you see images forming from the scribbles, and begin to go over the lines until you have the image.

DEMO PAGE

This is a Surrealist technique, taken from one of my previous incarnations, Leonardo da Vinci.  I began this series of drawings in 1988, at Happy Hour in the Blue Moon Tavern in Seattle's University District.  It's like a Rorschach Test.  What you come up with is a message from your subconscious, which the Surrealists recognized as the Gateway to Alchemical Transformation.  Like Dreams (another Surrealist technique, also used by Carlos Castaneda), these drawings are messages from your Spirit Guides.

If you study the arts of indigenous peoples, you notice that they use distinctive patterns.  The patterns are indigenous to each particular locale.  These are the patterns of the Medicine Energies in each area.  When I used to take LSD, I could see the exact same patterns in the air that I saw in the arts of the Northwest Coast Indians.  But along with those patterns, I also saw other patterns -- like modern cartoon figures or faces.  As I later began this series of drawings, I noticed those same cartoon-like patterns in the scribbles.  The drawings seemed inept and embarrassing, but eventually the subject matter began to make sense, and when I finally entered into Union with my Allies during my Initiation as a Shaman, I saw that I had been doing portraits of my Spirit Guides.  

This continued throughout the Initiation, and I began to see my clients in the drawings, revealing various aspects of their healing process.  Often the Allies would just entertain themselves, telling stories and jokes, but the healing readings were always accurate, even though, as I discovered, I was entering an unknown area of psychic / spiritual information.  It took years to integrate the bits of knowledge and insight that I was gathering into a deeper understanding of the world of Spirit, and the ways in which it shapes every aspect of our reality.

During the recent killings at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut, I returned to this style of drawing.  I had abandoned it during the period when I was forced to 'overcome the Allies'.  Once I had defeated them and regained the autonomy of my spirit, our relationship began to mature and I felt it necessary to resume this work.

One of my first new drawings was "Reynard", a chthonic entity who rules the Montana Flood area of Eastern Washington State.  I made his acquaintance a few years ago up in Ellensburg, and interactions with him and the witches forced me to relocate to Yakima.  Now he has engaged me again, and I am doing research into his ways.

A later drawing came through from Jesus.  He always manifests the fish symbol as here, for his nose, and in this piece he is holding a baby.  "T" was very distinct in the scribble.  It is my boyhood nickname, to insure that I understood he was referring to me.  In addition, he added the small lightning bolt at the top, referring to the spirit name given to me during my Initiation, "Zaza Zam" (the Lightning Man).  These drawings are training in using and trusting your intuition.

Marilyn Monroe gave me more drawings, this one with some ambiguity involved, in relation to the shootings... but she can be counted on to make things interesting!

And Jesus gave me the definitive image to denote his involvement with the massacre.  After Marilyn Monroe caused the earthquake which precipitated the Phuket Island Tsunami in 2004 (today is the eighth anniversary!), Jesus took me there to observe him at work gathering the departed souls.  It was obvious this is a feasting occasion for the spirits.  This is the underlying cause of such disasters and massacres.  The spirits feast on the soul and blood energies (human sacrifice) and the emotional outrage and fear of the masses.  He appeared to me then as a shark, with a shark's swiftness, fierceness, and voraciousness.

The signature on these pieces refers to the fact that, until recently, I was always stoned on marijuana.  I added the J. for numerological reasons.

JESUS AND THE NATURE OF REALITY

11.05.12

A few years ago, I caught on to the intent of my spirits regarding my Initiation as a Shaman.  I was not really intended to become a Shaman as others have been.  There was a special agenda for me, based on an agreement entered into in the years before the Sphinx was invented.  (I was the one who brought through the design of the Sphinx from the nagual.)  I was with my present spirits in this time in ancient Egypt.  In 1989, at the time of the World Series earthquake in San Francisco, I was guided to retrieve a large ‘Record Keeper Crystal’ from a collection which ended up in a bookstore in Seattle near my home, when a woman who owned a shop in Carmel was forced to sell her crystal collection after the earthquake.

After working with the crystal for years, I was unable to enter into its energy field with sufficient power to understand its significance, other than the fact that it had been my crystal in ancient Egypt.  Eventually, my interactions with my spirit guides, or Allies, led me to discern that this crystal was the key to my mission in this life, which has been to prepare the way for the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.  As I learned this, I was aghast.

This was nearly twenty years into my Initiation as a Shaman, during which nothing had seemed to be going right.  As it turned out, I had wasted my life.  I was nearly seventy years old, exiled to a retarded Red State town, far from anything my life had prepared me for.  I was in no way in agreement with anything I had ever known about Jesus and his religion, let alone the way he and his cronies had treated me and the people associated with me in this life.  These spirits were evil, in any way I could look at it.  I was in no way going to lend assistance to His return to the earth, in any role whatsoever.

The spirits had such control over every aspect of my life that I had no choice but to engage them in battle at every level I could.  This went on for many years, even before I understood what was going on.  My blogs have reflected this struggle, much to my embarrassment, for several years.

Recently, I have been having some success.  Recent blogs give some details of this.  This success, I believe, is due to my understanding of the nature of reality.

The world we live in is a world of energy, and energy is one aspect of Spirit.  Energy, and spirit, are aspects of the Philosopher’s Stone, which the ancients have identified as the basis of matter.  The Philosopher’s Stone itself, as I learned in a Vision in 1988, is Consciousness.  Consciousness is composed of particles, which the scientists are beginning to isolate, if not to identify.  The nature of Consciousness is Change.  This is the basis of the wisdom of the I Ching.  Through mastering the nature of Change, one can rearrange reality.  This is the process called Transformation, which is the basis of the ‘alchemy’ which is at the core of Surrealism. 

The essence of the arts of Surrealism is the feat of Transformation, using the powers inherent in the psyche, as expressed in the arts of painting and poetry, and is the core of the type of Shamanism I practice.

The practice of tuning to the changes of the lunar cycle is a preparation for developing the types of attention necessary to track the changes inherent in the process of Transformation.  Mastery of changes in many subtle arenas is necessary to engage in the act of transforming an aspect of reality as potent as Jesus.

I have apparently succeeded, at least partially, in transforming Jesus.

I could not defeat him, at least not permanently, but I have apparently changed his agenda.

Early on in my Initiation as a Shaman, he showed me a glyph to represent his Second Coming.  It was a Cross, with two crossbars, the top one slightly shorter than the lower – a Double Cross.  The cross of Succession.  One crossbar atop the first.

As I discovered his agenda, and realized my opposition to its success, I was at the same time expanding my powers of awareness through my own efforts at Shamanic Training, and the invaluable experiences of being of One Energy with my spirits, or Allies.  Actually being of the same energies as these beings has given me amazing insights into the nature of reality.

The ability to hold a world of many facets within the intelligence of my physical body / psyche, and the Medicine Energies of my apartment, requires an expansion of my spirit.  This was accomplished through years of hard work with my Allies; going to the edges of the physical universe, and to the dawn of time, and to multiple levels of reality of the world of the present moment (parallel universes), has expanded my awareness, and my ability to hold this expanded awareness in the time – space continuum of my physical body. 

With this expanded awareness, I have been able to track the changes in my Allies which resulted from my Despacho Ceremonies, my furies and rages, my Medicine Work, and other trial-and-error efforts to get rid of them.

As I was able to remove them from my energy field for longer periods of time, I was able to track the progression of signs as they re-entered my energies.  Each time was a little different.  And so I began to restructure my responses to their tactics, oddly enough, in ways which seemed to parallel the ‘teachings’ of the spiritual masters.  As I developed a stronger mesh of “Ayni” (right relationship) in my Medicine Energies, I found that the energies could support a gentler, more accommodating reaction to their return.

Without the Intent of my own spirit to be totally free from these intruders, the truisms of the new age teachers were merely hollow affirmations.  It was the indomitable desire to be Free that allowed me to overcome the will of my captors.  And as I began to overcome their will, their will began to change.

As noted in recent blogs, my spirits have become much more accommodating, and much less intrusive on my own energy field, and hence more and more welcomed by my own spirit.

So far, it seems that the will to freedom is the key.  But the key only works in a matrix of the Medicine Energies, and the expanded awareness of the Shaman.

My drawings are a vehicle for apprehending the changes in my world and my awareness.  Even though I might start a part of a drawing with a specific intent, my own lack of skill, and my penchant for the Surrealistic twist, gives each image the chance to become what it will, outside of or beyond my own understanding and intent.

This morning, while I was sort of ‘noodling’ at my drawing, at the coffee house, an interesting configuration appeared in one part of the drawing.  A tail feather had a sketched-in line which I unthinkingly doubled.  I had now two long vertical lines, side by side, which I joined near the top with a crossing line.  I now had a cross, with two uprights, which I saw was an interesting variation on Jesus’ Double Cross.

Two verticals indicated more than one Ascension, rather than one Ascension repeated.  In other words, no ‘return’; no Second Coming.  Rather, more than one Ascension.  More than one Jesus.  This fit nicely with my quest to develop the inherent qualities of the human energy field, in order to achieve things in each individual never conceived of in the Christian theology.

We can change the nature of the world we live in.  We don’t have to accept the current truths.  We can discover deeper realities in our own lives, in the world around us, and in a future which we can create from the energies we generate from our life-styles.

MY DRAGON GETS WINGS

10.27.12 Saturday

So I’m in way over my head again.  Both Jesus and Marilyn Monroe are back with me.  I don’t really know if I ever expected that my Ceremony would rid me of MM.  But she did disappear for a while.  Yesterday she beeped the door chime on my truck; just once.  Even the door chime ding has a varied tonality when she beeps it!  Sometimes it’s clumsy and tenuous.  Sometimes it sends chills up my spine.  Sometimes it scares me, and sometimes it makes me furious.  Yesterday, it was so matter-of-fact, I just noted it and kept driving.  She didn’t appear in my dreams.  But all morning I could feel her presence.

I was watching UP with Chris Hayes on MSNBC early this morning, and switching to CBS during commercials.  There she was, all blonde and in bed with white sheets pulled up to her neck, looking divine.  While she was gone, she appeared in a credit card commercial as a work of art in a gallery, looking vapid and lost.  Even on TV she manages to communicate.  It was a real treat, in the early years of my Initiation as a Shaman, to watch her movies with her on the TV.  She would tell me things about what was going on.  She would manipulate her image to make her jaw look huge, or to make a long wrinkle of fat on her back.  Now I can’t stand to see her! 

One of the ways we learn to recognize the true nature of reality is when Spirit is present and active.  She unites various levels of reality, space and time and ‘mood’ because of the expanded and augmented nature of her divinity, --her Spirit, her Goddess Nature, her nature as an ALLY. 

On Tuesday, the 23^rd, I was doing yoga in the morning, and I could feel Jesus with me.  As I was doing a heart-opener with a Chi Mudra twist, he muttered deep within me, “I Die!”  Since then he has remained out of my consciousness.  The next day, the moon cycle shifted, and the rains came.  There is a feeling that comes with the rain, which connects it with the Moods of the Moon.  This rain has been a nasty rain.  Mostly a drizzle, it’s been dark, dank, and cold.  My teeth began to hurt.  This was my body relating to the energy drain from Jesus, deep within me.  Even my stool was affected.  The spirits eat it for its energy.  (Google Tlazolteotl, Goddess of Love and Excrement.  She was with me for a while in ’06.  She spoke through me by forcing my mouth into an extreme bucktooth configuration….  She is an aspect of Marilyn Monroe.)  Then I got a message from “Reynard”.

Reynard is the Werewolf Master of the Montana Flood region of Eastern Washington.  I first met him in Ellensburg.  He set the witches to attack me so as to drive me out of town, and I ended up here in Yakima.  Reynard is a red-head.  He showed up as the son of Frank, next door in apt. #3, early this summer, with a shit-load of trouble.  After a couple of Shamanic treatments on him and his Native girlfriend, things smoothed out and they found a house a few blocks away.  He helped me to see the ‘lines of force in the universe’ which would allow me to gain access to the spirit ‘handles’ on the un-evolved souls who inhabit this region.  There are many mythical and fairie folk who live in human form, but never migrate to the urban areas.  They are creatures of the earth, and have a very special energy vibe.  Meeting with them was one of the main reasons I was moved here to Yakima.  Their energies were certainly a shock to my system!

As the rains broke for a while, I was able to install a small shipping pallet I had scavenged from the hops warehouses on my way home from the coffee shop a few mornings ago.  It fit nicely at the alley edge of my compost heap.  So I was able to rake the three years of compost onto some cardboard, set in the pallet and bolster it with stones, and refill the space with my beautiful, fully transformed compost.  Truly a prize!  I love it when the vortexes tell me where to work in the yard.  I always start with the rake, and clean the area before I enter, and things flow smoothly from there.  Otherwise, they don’t flow at all.  The garden rake is the Shaman’s key to the earth, as the broom is the Witch’s key to flight.

My yoga dance with Jesus led to a vision of the male genitals, which was transferred to the new rattle I made to use with the chakra board.  As I gave myself a chakra treatment on Thursday, I was directed to sit in the Ting.  (“Ting” is the Chinese word for cauldron, the name of I Ching hexagram #50, the most favorable in the book.  It is the name I have given to the Buddha Vortex, after Buddha left with Jesus and Quetzalcoatl to become Xoxolotl, my Anaconda Nagual, Lord of the Underworld.)   As I sat there, I went into trance, and my genitals opened to send my DRAGON into the world.  He is no longer an Anaconda.  He has morphed into a dragon, and while I was being amazed at this vision, he sprouted his wings!  My genitals exploded, and I burst out in a ‘ROARRR’.

As I sat there, amazed, he told me his name is “TEOTL”  Nahuatl for “God”.  At the same time, I was getting a message from the yoga mat on the floor in front of the Ting.  It features a large black circle, or Bindu, center of the universe.  The bindu was fluctuating in a sort of Morse Code.  It was a way to alert me to the fact that I should time my Full Moon ceremony to the Dark Crescent, three days after Full.  And just at that moment, I repeated my Death Rattle.  While Teo was emerging from my yoni, I was giving off a powerful noise from deep in my throat, which registered in some part of my consciousness as my death rattle.

I don’t know what’s going to happen next.  The moon is Full in two days.  I’ve lost track of what I’m supposed to do for Ceremony.  As I did my recapitulation this morning, it was clear that I have a duty.  In my role as Quetzalcoatl, a title I received years ago during my Initiation as a Shaman, it is my duty to put an end to the present (Christian) era.  It may be that this is happening as Jesus becomes my Nagual.  Or that could be just another Spirit mirage.  It seems I will wait until I feel that burning rage which shapes itself into a white-hot fury, to burn through meteorites, and I will know what to do as I’m doing it, as usual.

A MESSAGE FROM POWER

[PS -- as soon as I posted this, a huge gust of wind blasted out of the south, filled with dirt and grime, and smashed the geraniums on my porch!]

The Sun joined the Moon today in a message from Power.  “Power” is a force in the universe which comes to the Shaman as a guide or messenger, or in many other guises.  Michael Harner and Carlos Castaneda and many other teachers use Power as an introductory helper for their apprentices.  It is a very enjoyable enterprise to ‘court Power’, and Harner’s book, The Way of the Shaman, as well as others, gives a good account of how to do this.  This is a very good way to enter into the beginnings of a true relationship with the energies of the natural environment, which eventually become a key ingredient in the Medicine Energies.

I use the lunar cycles as an introduction to the energies of the natural environment, because we don’t have to trek to the wilds to observe them.  Today would be the day, third day from the New Moon, to expect to see the first of the crescent moon low in the Western sky, just after the sun goes below the horizon.  In my project of developing skill at the Despacho Ceremony, I am deciding that this day is more appropriate for Ceremony than directly at New Moon.  There is such a crowd at New Moon!

In developing the proper aspects for the Despacho, there are many forms of energetic vibrations that I have to take into account.  As a Shaman, I observe these energies through my Energy Field Awareness.  The Energy Field Awareness never really shuts down.  Unlike most people, my Energy Field Awareness is susceptible to a most pernicious source of energy – Marilyn Monroe.

This morning at 5:00 am, she woke me with one of her trademark dreams.  She presented me with a small box, with the word BEDBUGS stenciled on it.  That got me right out of bed!  I remembered that I had forgotten to take out the garbage last night.  I put on my slippers and hauled the dumpsters out to the alley, checking to see if the frost had hit the plants yet, as forecast.  Apparently not.  But some dog had scored a direct hit in the crushed gravel of the parking area beside the alley.  I got that cleaned up, and went back inside to start my day.  The Internet showed me that my utility bill had gone up $10, and was due three days earlier than usual.  Within fifteen minutes, I had received a noticeable batch of negative inputs!

I turned on the TV for the local news and weather, and had my usual dates and nuts and coffee from yesterday’s Thermos.  A package of info began to unfold within my deeper consciousness.  The ‘bedbugs’ message was pointing me to her attitude toward the people I had met at the Tai Chi studio.  I went over to the vortex to sit, and picked up my tom-tom.  During the drumming, my energies opened further, and I could see that Marilyn Monroe was into a serious penetration of my life force.

One of the first spirits I was introduced to during the onset of my Initiation as a Shaman was the Samurai swordsman Miyamoto Musashi, one of my former incarnations, in whom Marilyn Monroe had also been incarnate, as she is with me.  Musashi was the author of The Book of Five Rings, a manual on the strategy of swordsmanship.  From that book, I picked up a strategy called ‘The Feint of Going-With’.  You allow the opponent to force you into the moves he wants from you, knowing that you will be able to perceive the exact moment to turn the forces against him.

So I decided to go with Marilyn Monroe for the time being; to let her penetrate me however she would, so that I could discern her purpose.  In a moment, I got up and pulled the I Ching out of retirement.  I had put it away weeks ago, after decades of using it daily, so that she would not have that access to my energies.  (Lao Tzu, my original contact on the I Ching, had taught her to be the ‘voice’ of the oracle on January 1, 1993.)

I tossed the coins and received hexagram #54, The Marrying Maiden (MM).  This hexagram is her ‘signature’, having her initials, and referring to the unfortunate situation of the woman taking the initiative in the relationship.  It changed to #21, Biting Through.  My first thought was that she had decided to get out of our relationship – it was a dead end.

I continued with my morning, and got ready to catch the bus, to go over to North Town Coffee for my daily poem and drawing time.  As I came to the bus stop, I saw Power in the sky.

The sun was low in the southeast sky, surrounded by the wisps of clouds typical this time of year in Yakistan.  But then I noticed a distinct wing at the sun’s left side.  Its feathers were long and slender, and fanned out like a cluster of double-edged swords.  A winged sun… as I looked, I discerned a stout tail of hawk feathers.

The bus came, and I got to my coffee, and instead of beginning my poem, I got the beginning of my image for my drawing: the sun, with its wing of swords.  So I sketched it in and went back to cogitating about what to write.  But I was interrupted by the Moon.  I reached over and sketched it in as a thin crescent ‘ear’ on the right side of the sun.

This conjunction of moon and sun seemed to tell me that today would be the day to consummate my Despacho ‘Kooti’ Ceremony, to ‘cut the cords’ between me and Marilyn Monroe.

After my walk home (a mile), I decided to have breakfast, and after breakfast, I lay on the yoga floor to initiate the RDSE (rest, digestion, sexual energy) sequence of Ayurveda.  I was there for over an hour.  This is what happens when Marilyn Monroe is ‘feeding’ on my energies.  When I got up, I drove back to the coffee shop with my computer, to have a free blended mocha and write this.  It’s mid-afternoon now, and I’m wondering what will happen next.  Will there be a ceremony?  (I cast another I Ching before coming over here, and it recommended a Ceremony…  --but everything must be ‘correct’….)  We’ll see.

Next day…

Well, I got home, and there were things to do, and I was anxious.  There were blockages all through my energy system, my mind and my body.  After I finally got settled in from the journey to the coffee shop, I found myself wandering around looking for the next thing to do.  I was mumbling to myself.  Then I knew it was time.

I went out to the sacred grove next to the parking area along the alley, and everything seemed ok.  The tall sunflowers, and the huge sprawling vine of the squash from Sergio’s garden next door, which grew up into my tree and on into the parking area, hanging large squashes high in the branches, proved to be an effective screen to ward off the killer chi from the alley and the apartment building across the way.  Lots of plants and the plywood fence screened the fire area from Sergio’s yard, and no one was around.

I got my tiny pieces of wood, a few splinters from a cedar shingle, some newspaper, and went outside to put a fire in the large cookie tin.  The fire burned nicely, and I brought out the small despachos I had prepared, with the bay leaf quintus wrapped in napkins, and a note regarding the aspects I desired to be eliminated.

One by one they went into the flames, were consumed, and soon the ceremony was complete.  No hay problema!

I looked up to see the strong crescent of the moon just above the horizon to the south and west, not at all obstructed by the darkening gray cloud bits strung throughout the sky.

Everything had gone well – quite well, I thought.

Last night I had two dreams.  One, in deep sleep, showed a man’s face.  He was dead.  He had brown hair and a trimmed moustache/beard.  His face appeared to be perhaps covered with water.  The second dream, just before I woke up, was very similar.  A man’s face, same sort of beard, but maybe not the same person, equally dead.

During my shower, (a very good place for knowledge to emerge from the energy body / or the Medicine) I realized that the man had been Jesus.  Already volunteering for next moon’s despacho!

SIGN OF THE DOUBLE CROSS: JESUS' RETURN

A while back, I posted that Jesus had left my body in the form of my Nagual projection, a tiny black dog named XOXOLOTL, the Aztec Lord of the Underworld in the Post-Christian era; upon which he became a huge green and black Anaconda, and slithered off into the underworld to do his stuff.  It was my plan that rather than return as most of us imagine he might, in some glorious manner, he actually earn his reincarnation like the rest of us.  My twenty years of living with him as a resident inside my body had convinced me that he was not a person I wanted to put in charge of anything!  I found him to be an abomination.  All the worst things we have noted about his religion were manifest in the person who had attached himself to me.

I had hoped that I was done with him.  Although I realized that was unlikely!  Nevertheless, the intervening time has been very welcome.  What a relief to have him not be a presence in my person, shouting "OUCH!" every time he got excited, and sucking my precious energies.  I wondered how long it would last.

This morning, 10.12.2012, I was breaking in some crystals given to me some time ago by a friend.  They had been in quarantine, until their energies were compatible with the Medicine Energies in my studio.  A few days ago, they came out of quarantine.  They proved to be very powerful.

This morning they brought delicious arousal to my genital region, where my ceremonies usually begin their adventure up through the chakras of the Medicine.  As my total bodily awareness began to open with the energies, out came the "ouch!", more subdued than in the past.  I was quite high, but not unaware that something untoward might be happening.  In these instances, there is nothing to be done but continue to the end of the ceremony, and wait to see what comes next.  It sometimes takes days.

As I sat in my vortex, I wondered if Buddha would return, as he had left the vortex with Jesus and Quetzalcoatl.  I did not expect Quetzalcoatl to return, for some reason.  I went through my usual seated forward bend, during which I arrange the energies throughout my body via the compression of my intestines, heart and lungs, and the way this compression forces the energies out through my ribcage and shoulders to open up the upper assemblage point, and through the pelvis to open up the lower assemblage point.

After a few repetitions, I felt much better, and heard a message from Jesus:  "Maybe I did it; for the whole earth!"

As I was wondering what he had done, I came to a realization.  For several years, my meditations have been replaced by a long series of endless disconnected scenes, as if from a video, showing various persons in various places doing various things, all in black and white, and with no connection to myself or to each other.  I really miss my meditations!  These views, I realized, were what Jesus was seeing wherever he was.  I had thought it might be Marilyn Monroe, but after noticing the tone of today's communication from Jesus, I could See that his statement was of the same vibration as these images.

And then, while not in meditation, I was shown a number of black and white glyphs, symbols for his new religion; various applications of the Double Cross, and treatments of several Power Animals and other things.  Very clean and powerful artistry!  When I came out of it, I couldn't remember them all with any precision, but sketched a couple for my notebook log.

Later in the day, after I had had time to reflect, I realized that none of this had anything to do with me, or the things I believe in and cherish about my work, -- especially the work I've been doing since he ejected.

I reject his agenda and everything I know about this person.  I have my own agenda, and I believe it serves me and the 'whole earth' better than anything I've experienced from the Jesus who was with me for so long.

There's no way to guess how this might all turn out, so I'll just continue to do what I do, and blog it if I'm able.

I'm always open to comments and/or questions!

Namaste, Dagaji