10.30.12
One of the best things about being a Shaman is “executing
the ploy”. Since there is no
guide-book, and all my teachers are dead, I’m left to experiment. My Allies work their nefarious magics
upon me, and I have to find some way to deal with it. To test the situation, I invent things. I try something, and if it works, great
–I try to remember it. For that
purpose, I keep a log book. I have
dozens of them, over the years.
Sometimes, I actually use them, but not so much recently.
One of the best ploys, and the answer to many of life’s
perplexing situations, is the ploy of “Reversing the Polarity”. It’s
like making lemons out of lemonade.
Because my Allies have taken me to the core of reality in ways that
allow me to retain my awareness, I have been able to view the world we live in from many
dimensions. Inside the human body
are many centers of awareness (no, not the chakras…). We have awakened these areas, and I am able to access them
through sometimes elaborate yogic propositions. I invent asanas such as using negative space, or stealing
the thoughts of the right shoulder.
Many of these feats occur over a span of many moon cycles, or even
years. My Allies help me by
maintaining or renewing their atrocities so I am able to refocus my energies on
defeating them.
This process has allowed me to bring my own spirit fully
into my body. Most people carry
their spirits outside their physical bodies, because they have not made room
inside the body for the spirit to enter.
Not only is there no physical room, what room there is is taken up by ama or negative energies / thought
patterns / spirit entities.
Besides that, the spirit is actually very shy, and very protective of
itself. Most people live lives
which are careless, mindless, and dangerous for the spirit. Most people know nothing of their
spirit.
Shamanic Practitioners make their livings doing “soul
retrievals” for people. I don’t
know how effective this practice is, but I do know that such practitioners fall
apart when confronted with my energies.
But they hold up much better than ordinary people! And yogis speak of “body-mind-spirit”,
but none of their discourse gives me the idea that they have actually made
contact with spirit or spirits in the ways a Shaman is forced to do.
So after years of many kinds of practices with my Allies, I
came to the point where it was time to rid myself of their energies and move on
to a decent life. If this meant
giving up my ‘powers’, I was ready to do that. I was simply sick, literally, of having them inside me. Of the many souls I’ve been host to,
Jesus and Marilyn Monroe are the two that have stayed on, or at least the ones
who make their presence known. My
previous Despacho Ceremony got rid of Marilyn Monroe, at least for a while, and
I was rid of Jesus after he left as my Nagual, months ago. I was very happy during these times!
And then they came back. I never really knew whether it would be possible to get rid
of them, or if there is some unbreakable aspect of our relationships. I merely renewed my will to persevere,
practice, and continue to invent ways to achieve my freedom.
Full Moon passed yesterday with no action toward a
Ceremony. But I still have time
before the Dark Crescent, which was pointed out to me just the other day.
The energies are different than before. There are still things that send me
into the rage that I need to bring my energies together to perform the Kooti
Despacho, and this morning the rage was burning nicely. But I’m in process of rearranging my
morning schedule to get me out of the house by the 9:15 bus, so I can get my
walk in and still get back with time left in the day to paint. My Allies had so drained my energies,
and my 70 years have worn me down considerably, that I had found my days
lacking in accomplishment. No
energy!
I’ve got the morning routine down to an easy flow from early
rising, through Medicine duties, to shower, breakfast, and a short time to sit
in the vortex.
In the vortex, I work with my various energy fields, and issue
instructions to the Medicine about my situation –a ‘recapitulation’ of
sorts. I organize my energies to
achieve certain results, such as bringing together what I need for a Ceremony,
or not.
This morning, I felt the energies of Jesus within me. To my surprise, it was an agreeable
feeling! My spirit was feeling no
antagonism towards him. I had had
the same feelings yesterday about Marilyn Monroe. I wondered what sort of trick they were playing. But I went ahead with the energy
opening breath, the forward bend of compression and opening, and the
upward-drawing of the energies from the Earth Star Chakra. I could feel that Jesus wanted
sex. (Jesus is a fag.) [I’m not.]
–I’m a Brahmacharyi.
I continued to raise the energies, and to augment them with
yogic propositions and breathwork, and Jesus manifested himself further and
further. I gave him permission to
do what he wanted. He immediately
occupied my frontal column, as my Dakini, seated with his spine against my
chest, the opposite of the way a woman would sit. He began to draw energies through his base chakra, in the
form of various sigils and signs, and my frontal column opened further, until
we became One. The sigils and
signs were now within me. The
light exploded within us. The
energy polarity between us has been reversed. The gays call it ‘topping from the bottom’. I love it when a plan comes together.
At the bus stop, the heavy gray clouds parted slightly, and
the face of the Deer Goddess, all white and shining, smiled down upon me.
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