MY DAKINI RETURNS

My journey to the inner realms began in earnest in about 1964, I suppose.  It was about that time that I wandered into some of the bookstores in Seattle’s University District, where I was midway through my undergraduate ‘career’.  I found some books on Tantra.  I had known about and sort of practiced yoga for maybe half a dozen years.  I had decided long ago that Christianity was totally bankrupt and definitely not for me.  The Tantric logic intrigued me.  It seemed unassailable, indicating a depth and a centered approach to understanding the inscrutability of the psyche, which seemed to be the actual center of the world.

It took me years to gain the maturity to develop a real practice, once I had exhausted the indispensable magic of the LSD experience.  My poetry and the arts of Surrealism worked to develop an inner stability which manifested in the outer structuring of my lifestyle, which was centered on ‘get the poem!’.  The Chinese poets had figured out long ago that a simple life away from the ‘world’ was most conducive to the inner journey, and the Zen Masters had proven that many aspects of their practice had definite practical results.

Many years into the journey, I began to discover that the things I was practicing had just that same sort of results.  I did all these things, over the years, and they all actually worked!  I was transformed.  I entered the realm of the Spirits, and the spirits entered into incarnation in my physical body.  It was a psychic circus.

And then it began to fall apart.  I began to notice that twenty years had gone by with these two sharing my life, and I was not making the progress I needed to in order to complete what I began to see was my true mission.  I had been shanghaied into an agenda regarding the return of Jesus in the Second Coming.  It was a program concocted in the times before the Sphinx in Egypt, and was proving to be based on cosmic assumptions that were no longer valid.  I was in revolt.  I began to do whatever I could think of to rid myself of my hitch-hikers.

The Tantric aspect of my Shama, of course is central to the configuration of the energies which must be controlled in order to achieve the results of Mastery in this tradition.  The sexual energies are the core of our being, and of course, our being is the core of the world.  It’s all One, but the Self is the Center… Square Zero.

I must say, in spite of the difficulties I’ve encountered, that this journey I’ve undertaken is a totally fascinating experience.  If you like existential challenges, this is a wonderful path!  And it’s encouraging to know that these techniques, whichever ones you choose, actually work.

With this past New Moon, and the Despacho ‘Kooti’ Ceremony I performed at the Crescent, I seem to have achieved something especially significant.  With Jesus and Marilyn Monroe in my body, my Tantric practice was intimately tied up with them, either or both, at various times.  As their agenda began to prove itself to be bogus, this aspect of the relationship became very irritating.  My Tantric practice became a drag.

Part of what I had hoped to achieve with this cord-cutting ceremony was to ‘free up my sexuality’.  Neither of them was welcome any longer in my Tantra.

One of the delightful aspects of the practice of yoga is the Ayurvedic sequence of RDSE (Rest, Digestion, Sexual Energy).  After the morning meal, when the energies are freshest, it is a good idea to sit or lie down while the agni (digestive fires) do their work.  At a certain point, the Energy Body converts the digestive process into sexual energy, which is then available to me moved throughout the chakras via the Concentration Breath.  This brings a delightful vigor to the whole body, and to the psyche.  The sexual excitement is only a small part of this process, but is especially delicious, under the proper conditions.

Three days ago, the Ceremony had appeared to be a success, but I was wondering how I would actually assess the results.  Today, that question was answered.

As I lay on the yoga floor after breakfast, I went through the rituals of relaxations of the various parts of the body in Savasana (Corpse Pose).  At a certain point, the energies opened into a sort of movie screen, upon which images were being projected.  (I love the various ways of Seeing.  The ‘third eye’ is only one of many ways of perception, and the others are often spectacular.)

One of the things you have to get used to, in the inward journey, is going to places you might not find comfortable.  There are many aspects of the psyche, and its extensions into ‘paranormal space’, which are ‘necessary evils’, so to speak.  As I lay there, I was viewing the fly of a man’s trousers.  Behind the fly, the genitals became visible; then an image of fellatio.  At this image, the energies in my own genitals burst alive.  Soon a fire was flaming in the lower chakras, in all the colors of the inner spectrum.  I had never experienced this before. I caught the fire with my inner breathing, and the energies expanded to fill my abdomen, and expand the entire ‘frontal column’ of the chakras, the area where the Dakini resides when she visits.  The Dakini is the female sexual partner of the Tantrika.  She had been overshadowed by Jesus and Marilyn Monroe for a number of years.  Sex with the Dakini is a delicate, wonderful marvel.

Today the Dakini returned.  As I was experiencing the psychedelic colors of the male sexual energies throughout my entire body, in wave after wave, suddenly there was an opening, and another energy was visible.  It showed what seemed to be an almond-shaped opening, of lavender and magenta light, which immediately became the inner labia of a delicate vagina.  My entire energy field burst into penetration of this vagina, again something I had never experienced –a full-body Satori!

At this penetration, a number of images came to me.  It appeared that the male energy was an aspect of the God-figure Ganesha, the elephant.  It was his trunk that was curling upward along the frontal column of my energy body.  As I lay there in Corpse Pose, I became the “corpse Shiva”, the dead god, who is pictured with Shakti (the Goddess), or Kali, the dark one.  I also became Osiris, the dismembered God of ancient Egypt, one of my early Shamanic personas. 

As I’ve learned how things unfold in this world of Shamanic Reality, I can more easily understand the vastness of the inner dimensions.  I’m looking forward to the further unfolding of other aspects of the Ceremony, as this moon progresses toward Full Moon on the 29^th, just before Halloween!