MY DRAGON GETS WINGS

10.27.12 Saturday

So I’m in way over my head again.  Both Jesus and Marilyn Monroe are back with me.  I don’t really know if I ever expected that my Ceremony would rid me of MM.  But she did disappear for a while.  Yesterday she beeped the door chime on my truck; just once.  Even the door chime ding has a varied tonality when she beeps it!  Sometimes it’s clumsy and tenuous.  Sometimes it sends chills up my spine.  Sometimes it scares me, and sometimes it makes me furious.  Yesterday, it was so matter-of-fact, I just noted it and kept driving.  She didn’t appear in my dreams.  But all morning I could feel her presence.

I was watching UP with Chris Hayes on MSNBC early this morning, and switching to CBS during commercials.  There she was, all blonde and in bed with white sheets pulled up to her neck, looking divine.  While she was gone, she appeared in a credit card commercial as a work of art in a gallery, looking vapid and lost.  Even on TV she manages to communicate.  It was a real treat, in the early years of my Initiation as a Shaman, to watch her movies with her on the TV.  She would tell me things about what was going on.  She would manipulate her image to make her jaw look huge, or to make a long wrinkle of fat on her back.  Now I can’t stand to see her! 

One of the ways we learn to recognize the true nature of reality is when Spirit is present and active.  She unites various levels of reality, space and time and ‘mood’ because of the expanded and augmented nature of her divinity, --her Spirit, her Goddess Nature, her nature as an ALLY. 

On Tuesday, the 23^rd, I was doing yoga in the morning, and I could feel Jesus with me.  As I was doing a heart-opener with a Chi Mudra twist, he muttered deep within me, “I Die!”  Since then he has remained out of my consciousness.  The next day, the moon cycle shifted, and the rains came.  There is a feeling that comes with the rain, which connects it with the Moods of the Moon.  This rain has been a nasty rain.  Mostly a drizzle, it’s been dark, dank, and cold.  My teeth began to hurt.  This was my body relating to the energy drain from Jesus, deep within me.  Even my stool was affected.  The spirits eat it for its energy.  (Google Tlazolteotl, Goddess of Love and Excrement.  She was with me for a while in ’06.  She spoke through me by forcing my mouth into an extreme bucktooth configuration….  She is an aspect of Marilyn Monroe.)  Then I got a message from “Reynard”.

Reynard is the Werewolf Master of the Montana Flood region of Eastern Washington.  I first met him in Ellensburg.  He set the witches to attack me so as to drive me out of town, and I ended up here in Yakima.  Reynard is a red-head.  He showed up as the son of Frank, next door in apt. #3, early this summer, with a shit-load of trouble.  After a couple of Shamanic treatments on him and his Native girlfriend, things smoothed out and they found a house a few blocks away.  He helped me to see the ‘lines of force in the universe’ which would allow me to gain access to the spirit ‘handles’ on the un-evolved souls who inhabit this region.  There are many mythical and fairie folk who live in human form, but never migrate to the urban areas.  They are creatures of the earth, and have a very special energy vibe.  Meeting with them was one of the main reasons I was moved here to Yakima.  Their energies were certainly a shock to my system!

As the rains broke for a while, I was able to install a small shipping pallet I had scavenged from the hops warehouses on my way home from the coffee shop a few mornings ago.  It fit nicely at the alley edge of my compost heap.  So I was able to rake the three years of compost onto some cardboard, set in the pallet and bolster it with stones, and refill the space with my beautiful, fully transformed compost.  Truly a prize!  I love it when the vortexes tell me where to work in the yard.  I always start with the rake, and clean the area before I enter, and things flow smoothly from there.  Otherwise, they don’t flow at all.  The garden rake is the Shaman’s key to the earth, as the broom is the Witch’s key to flight.

My yoga dance with Jesus led to a vision of the male genitals, which was transferred to the new rattle I made to use with the chakra board.  As I gave myself a chakra treatment on Thursday, I was directed to sit in the Ting.  (“Ting” is the Chinese word for cauldron, the name of I Ching hexagram #50, the most favorable in the book.  It is the name I have given to the Buddha Vortex, after Buddha left with Jesus and Quetzalcoatl to become Xoxolotl, my Anaconda Nagual, Lord of the Underworld.)   As I sat there, I went into trance, and my genitals opened to send my DRAGON into the world.  He is no longer an Anaconda.  He has morphed into a dragon, and while I was being amazed at this vision, he sprouted his wings!  My genitals exploded, and I burst out in a ‘ROARRR’.

As I sat there, amazed, he told me his name is “TEOTL”  Nahuatl for “God”.  At the same time, I was getting a message from the yoga mat on the floor in front of the Ting.  It features a large black circle, or Bindu, center of the universe.  The bindu was fluctuating in a sort of Morse Code.  It was a way to alert me to the fact that I should time my Full Moon ceremony to the Dark Crescent, three days after Full.  And just at that moment, I repeated my Death Rattle.  While Teo was emerging from my yoni, I was giving off a powerful noise from deep in my throat, which registered in some part of my consciousness as my death rattle.

I don’t know what’s going to happen next.  The moon is Full in two days.  I’ve lost track of what I’m supposed to do for Ceremony.  As I did my recapitulation this morning, it was clear that I have a duty.  In my role as Quetzalcoatl, a title I received years ago during my Initiation as a Shaman, it is my duty to put an end to the present (Christian) era.  It may be that this is happening as Jesus becomes my Nagual.  Or that could be just another Spirit mirage.  It seems I will wait until I feel that burning rage which shapes itself into a white-hot fury, to burn through meteorites, and I will know what to do as I’m doing it, as usual.

A MESSAGE FROM POWER

[PS -- as soon as I posted this, a huge gust of wind blasted out of the south, filled with dirt and grime, and smashed the geraniums on my porch!]

The Sun joined the Moon today in a message from Power.  “Power” is a force in the universe which comes to the Shaman as a guide or messenger, or in many other guises.  Michael Harner and Carlos Castaneda and many other teachers use Power as an introductory helper for their apprentices.  It is a very enjoyable enterprise to ‘court Power’, and Harner’s book, The Way of the Shaman, as well as others, gives a good account of how to do this.  This is a very good way to enter into the beginnings of a true relationship with the energies of the natural environment, which eventually become a key ingredient in the Medicine Energies.

I use the lunar cycles as an introduction to the energies of the natural environment, because we don’t have to trek to the wilds to observe them.  Today would be the day, third day from the New Moon, to expect to see the first of the crescent moon low in the Western sky, just after the sun goes below the horizon.  In my project of developing skill at the Despacho Ceremony, I am deciding that this day is more appropriate for Ceremony than directly at New Moon.  There is such a crowd at New Moon!

In developing the proper aspects for the Despacho, there are many forms of energetic vibrations that I have to take into account.  As a Shaman, I observe these energies through my Energy Field Awareness.  The Energy Field Awareness never really shuts down.  Unlike most people, my Energy Field Awareness is susceptible to a most pernicious source of energy – Marilyn Monroe.

This morning at 5:00 am, she woke me with one of her trademark dreams.  She presented me with a small box, with the word BEDBUGS stenciled on it.  That got me right out of bed!  I remembered that I had forgotten to take out the garbage last night.  I put on my slippers and hauled the dumpsters out to the alley, checking to see if the frost had hit the plants yet, as forecast.  Apparently not.  But some dog had scored a direct hit in the crushed gravel of the parking area beside the alley.  I got that cleaned up, and went back inside to start my day.  The Internet showed me that my utility bill had gone up $10, and was due three days earlier than usual.  Within fifteen minutes, I had received a noticeable batch of negative inputs!

I turned on the TV for the local news and weather, and had my usual dates and nuts and coffee from yesterday’s Thermos.  A package of info began to unfold within my deeper consciousness.  The ‘bedbugs’ message was pointing me to her attitude toward the people I had met at the Tai Chi studio.  I went over to the vortex to sit, and picked up my tom-tom.  During the drumming, my energies opened further, and I could see that Marilyn Monroe was into a serious penetration of my life force.

One of the first spirits I was introduced to during the onset of my Initiation as a Shaman was the Samurai swordsman Miyamoto Musashi, one of my former incarnations, in whom Marilyn Monroe had also been incarnate, as she is with me.  Musashi was the author of The Book of Five Rings, a manual on the strategy of swordsmanship.  From that book, I picked up a strategy called ‘The Feint of Going-With’.  You allow the opponent to force you into the moves he wants from you, knowing that you will be able to perceive the exact moment to turn the forces against him.

So I decided to go with Marilyn Monroe for the time being; to let her penetrate me however she would, so that I could discern her purpose.  In a moment, I got up and pulled the I Ching out of retirement.  I had put it away weeks ago, after decades of using it daily, so that she would not have that access to my energies.  (Lao Tzu, my original contact on the I Ching, had taught her to be the ‘voice’ of the oracle on January 1, 1993.)

I tossed the coins and received hexagram #54, The Marrying Maiden (MM).  This hexagram is her ‘signature’, having her initials, and referring to the unfortunate situation of the woman taking the initiative in the relationship.  It changed to #21, Biting Through.  My first thought was that she had decided to get out of our relationship – it was a dead end.

I continued with my morning, and got ready to catch the bus, to go over to North Town Coffee for my daily poem and drawing time.  As I came to the bus stop, I saw Power in the sky.

The sun was low in the southeast sky, surrounded by the wisps of clouds typical this time of year in Yakistan.  But then I noticed a distinct wing at the sun’s left side.  Its feathers were long and slender, and fanned out like a cluster of double-edged swords.  A winged sun… as I looked, I discerned a stout tail of hawk feathers.

The bus came, and I got to my coffee, and instead of beginning my poem, I got the beginning of my image for my drawing: the sun, with its wing of swords.  So I sketched it in and went back to cogitating about what to write.  But I was interrupted by the Moon.  I reached over and sketched it in as a thin crescent ‘ear’ on the right side of the sun.

This conjunction of moon and sun seemed to tell me that today would be the day to consummate my Despacho ‘Kooti’ Ceremony, to ‘cut the cords’ between me and Marilyn Monroe.

After my walk home (a mile), I decided to have breakfast, and after breakfast, I lay on the yoga floor to initiate the RDSE (rest, digestion, sexual energy) sequence of Ayurveda.  I was there for over an hour.  This is what happens when Marilyn Monroe is ‘feeding’ on my energies.  When I got up, I drove back to the coffee shop with my computer, to have a free blended mocha and write this.  It’s mid-afternoon now, and I’m wondering what will happen next.  Will there be a ceremony?  (I cast another I Ching before coming over here, and it recommended a Ceremony…  --but everything must be ‘correct’….)  We’ll see.

Next day…

Well, I got home, and there were things to do, and I was anxious.  There were blockages all through my energy system, my mind and my body.  After I finally got settled in from the journey to the coffee shop, I found myself wandering around looking for the next thing to do.  I was mumbling to myself.  Then I knew it was time.

I went out to the sacred grove next to the parking area along the alley, and everything seemed ok.  The tall sunflowers, and the huge sprawling vine of the squash from Sergio’s garden next door, which grew up into my tree and on into the parking area, hanging large squashes high in the branches, proved to be an effective screen to ward off the killer chi from the alley and the apartment building across the way.  Lots of plants and the plywood fence screened the fire area from Sergio’s yard, and no one was around.

I got my tiny pieces of wood, a few splinters from a cedar shingle, some newspaper, and went outside to put a fire in the large cookie tin.  The fire burned nicely, and I brought out the small despachos I had prepared, with the bay leaf quintus wrapped in napkins, and a note regarding the aspects I desired to be eliminated.

One by one they went into the flames, were consumed, and soon the ceremony was complete.  No hay problema!

I looked up to see the strong crescent of the moon just above the horizon to the south and west, not at all obstructed by the darkening gray cloud bits strung throughout the sky.

Everything had gone well – quite well, I thought.

Last night I had two dreams.  One, in deep sleep, showed a man’s face.  He was dead.  He had brown hair and a trimmed moustache/beard.  His face appeared to be perhaps covered with water.  The second dream, just before I woke up, was very similar.  A man’s face, same sort of beard, but maybe not the same person, equally dead.

During my shower, (a very good place for knowledge to emerge from the energy body / or the Medicine) I realized that the man had been Jesus.  Already volunteering for next moon’s despacho!